Mental Musings

This writing was turned spoken at women's conference web talk in October.  You know when you were little and you got asked “what do you want to be when you grow up” and you had to draw a picture of a doctor, firefighter, teacher, astronaut, an artist, a mom…everyone started scribbling and coloring right away. Me, well, I would stare at that blank paper the whole time and finally at the last minute, as the teacher was calling to pass them forward, I would quickly draw a stick figure that would resemble some sort of occupation of what a grown up was supposed to be doing. Or maybe all of them smashed together because you had no idea what you wanted to be. I floated through the years... existing. Being one of those kids who everyone knew about but never felt like I fit in just right with any one crowd. I was a kid who liked all the things, I was the one who hung out with the outcasts but would still be invited to glitter nail salon sleepovers. In high school the life I thought I was to