Mental Musings

What's this? What's this? There's color everywhere What's this? There's white things in the air What's this? I can't believe my eyes I must be dreaming Wake up, Jack, this isn't fair What's this? What's this? What's this? There's something very wrong What's this? There are people singing songs What's this? The streets are lined with Little creatures laughing Everybody seems so happy Have I possibly gone daffy? What is this? What's this? There are children throwing snowballs instead of throwing heads They're busy building toys And absolutely no one's dead There's frost on every window I can't believe my eyes And in my bones I feel a warmth That's coming from inside Oh, look What's this? They're hanging mistletoe, they kiss? Why that looks so unique, inspired They're gathering around to hear a story Roasting chestnuts on a fire What's this? What's this?

I'm a homebody, I'm a hermit, I'm anit-social...call it what you will....I'm an introvert. in·tro·vert ˈintrəˌvərt/ noun noun: introvert ; plural noun: introverts 1 . a shy, reticent, and typically self-centered person. Psychology a person predominantly concerned with their own thoughts and feelings rather than with external things. Many sites will also tell you that introverts expend so much energy while dealing with the day-to-day life that they need consistent time to recharge - ie "ME Time". The physical act of being around people is utterly exhausting to me. Don't get me wrong I LOVE to have adult time - talking with my daycare provider, visiting friends(or them visiting me), uninterrupted conversation with my husband, a good family/friends gathering, a nice night out.... but I can't do small talk... it just feels.. awkward and wrong, and truth be told I'm terrible about it. Ask me about the weather a

This saying comes out of the 4 year old's mouth almost constantly.  Most of the time it's in response to me apologizing for not doing something with her or not being able to cater to her needs at the current moment "it's ok mommy", or if she's trying to be independent and I step in to 'help'... "it's ok mommy, I can do it", as well as when I try to be a little over controlling and just do things for her to get it done or when I want her to do something and she's not doing it... "it's ok mommy, I'm still playing with it, it's ok".  And you know what - "IT" is OK.  and in my increasing diminishing energy due to my last month of pregnancy and I'm sure the long recovery and energy usage of having 3 children.... I'm learning that it truly is ok and to simply let go of somethings....and really trying to let go of the 'end of the world', out of control, chaos will ensue feeling that happens