If swear words hurt your eyes, you may want to stop reading now.

I’m not religious, and if you ask me I will tell you that when we die our bodies rot in the ground and become the best chemical infused fertilizer that insurance money can buy. BUT that said, I get to be a walking contradiction and say that I was brought up in a Catholic household: Church every Sunday with doughnuts/juice after, Wednesday night ‘Sunday school’, holidays celebrated including Midnight Mass on Christmas, Ash Wednesday, Easter Vigil, no meat Friday’s/Fish Fry’s, Palm Sunday, Baptism, First Confession (and many more after that), First Communion, and all the way up to Confirmation. Which was the day I just couldn’t bring myself to do it anymore, coupled with some holier than thou peers that thought they knew it all (yes I got bullied in church school). So I basically abandoned my faith, if you will. It’s not that I don’t think that there could be an afterlife, sins, karma, doing good, no free will, fate, reincarnation, etc. I just believe that you have more control of your life than what is taught by a book and I think so much of many religious texts are up to interpretation.

That being said…Lent is upon us. Given my formative years it brings back the “What are you going to give up for Lent?” question. Usually I would joke and say, “I’m giving up Lent, for Lent,” but through the years I’ve come to realize that Lent for Catholics is much like making New Years resolutions for the rest of the world. It’s an opportunity to ‘cleanse yourself’ of bad habits, make better choices and become a better person. Religion talk aside and I the fact that I don’t make new years resolutions (I’m more of a short term kind of girl), I decided to start with 40 days, then see where we are.

I’m going to ‘give up’ swearing.

Now by no means do I cuss like a sailor, but I do cuss a lot and it’s noticeable. I’ve received Mom of the Year for telling my 12 year old to “stop being so bitchy”, in which she loves telling people I called her a ‘bitch’ (commence hate comments now). I’ve uttered the words “god damnit, go the fuck to sleep” at my 2 year old (yeah I own the book). While when recounting my day to my husband, I insert random swear words to put emphasis on stressors and annoyances that I have incurred. I have swore in the process of explaining something to my boss, in the scenarios of ‘that would be a pain in the ass’ or ‘this is annoying as hell’, though in my defense, said boss has swore too, uttering a ‘damnit’ a time or two. When talking to my best friend ‘bitching’ about what the kids have done or what my dear husband does or doesn’t do, there are a slew of cuss words that I probably don’t even know I’m saying mid rant. Let’s not even mention facebook status updates, usually laced with ‘shits’, ‘fucks’ and ‘damnits’.

I really don’t how swearing became part of my everyday vocabulary. When I was growing up my parents never swore much; it was always that uncomfortable funniness when your parents let one slip. I still remember the first time I cussed in front of my mom. Of course, I swore with friends, but never front of parents, so when I let on go that fateful day, I covered my mouth in horror, apologized and my mom just shrugged. Maybe that’s it! When it didn’t become such a big deal, when I realized I wasn’t going to get my mouth washed out with soap, when I wasn’t going to be banished to my room for letting a ‘shit’ slip, or even when I wasn’t going to be met with a “now Rachel, sweetie, we don’t say those kind of words.”

There are studies out there that say swearing can help cope with pain, helping with stress release, anxiety and convey the emotional response to a situation. But does it make you sound any smarter or any more convincing when you add a ‘fuck’ into the sentence? What it does do is make you seem more aggressive and maybe you're taken a bit more seriously for the fear of the other person getting their ass beat. I really don’t think it should be a conversation piece, it should be reserved for times of extreme stress or buddying around with friends. For example, childbirth (yes ladies and gentlemen that shit hurts so let them fly), maybe getting hit by a truck does constitute a “you just fucking hit me”, or even playing fight club with friends you are more than welcome to say “you hit me in the fucking ear”. Those situations call for some form of swearing to a drive point home and release the endorphins that allow you to cope with extreme pain and stress. In everyday life, there is no need for me to add profanity to explain to my husband how a co-worker came to me with "50 fucking questions”. She did not ask me any questions about sex, but in fact did ask me some relevant questions to hers and my job, they just were annoying because I had to stop what I was doing every time. So when explaining that situation, I should have said "she came to me with a lot of seemingly unimportant questions, when she could have found the answers herself."

So here’s to a new lifestyle. Although, it hasn’t started out so well, I’m more conscious of my profanity now. I was a maid of honor in my friends wedding this past weekend and I let quite a few words fly, including a couple ‘goddamnits’ inside the church. I am still mumbling ‘go the fuck to sleep’ when it’s taking me over an hour to get my 2 year old to doze off. Thankfully, I have yet to hear swear word mocked from said 2 year old, I know she hears me; when I tried substituting ‘crap’ for ‘shit’ while calling my computer a ‘piece of crap’, said 2 year old replied with ‘mommy is the puter a piece of crap’. The 12 year old says ‘f’n’ (not the physical word ‘fuck’ but same concept), and I know she swears with her friend in facebook messages (yes I’m THAT mom). So for the sake of not completely ruining my children and instilling some form of personal censorship in them, I am going to TRY to stop swearing so much. This may be harder than I fucking think.