Mental Musings

I did it...I finally did it! I actually caught the moment every mom dreams of: I caught my child doing a chore, without being told repeatedly. It was a seemingly small thing, but it was a big resounding scream of respect. I had finished dishes for the evening and child #1 (7 years old) wanted a snack, which then child #2 (3 years old) wants a snack. So child #1 gets a snack, pudding and crackers - it's a thing - which needs a spoon, and they both sat and politely shared the snack. So I steel myself for washing a dish AFTER all the dishes had been for the day. But lo and behold after said snack, I heard the faucet and a then the sound of a dish going in the drainer. I turned around and the following conversation commenced: me: "did you wash your spoon" child: "yes...." me: "wow Thank you so much" child: perplexed at the appreciation "it was only one dish and you did the dishes already" Helping with Dishes Cue the sounds of angels singing and...

What's this? What's this? There's color everywhere What's this? There's white things in the air What's this? I can't believe my eyes I must be dreaming Wake up, Jack, this isn't fair What's this? What's this? What's this? There's something very wrong What's this? There are people singing songs What's this? The streets are lined with Little creatures laughing Everybody seems so happy Have I possibly gone daffy? What is this? What's this? There are children throwing snowballs instead of throwing heads They're busy building toys And absolutely no one's dead There's frost on every window I can't believe my eyes And in my bones I feel a warmth That's coming from inside Oh, look What's this? They're hanging mistletoe, they kiss? Why that looks so unique, inspired They're gathering around to hear a story Roasting chestnuts on a fire What's this? What's this? ...

I'm a homebody, I'm a hermit, I'm anit-social...call it what you will....I'm an introvert. in·tro·vert ˈintrəˌvərt/ noun noun: introvert ; plural noun: introverts 1 . a shy, reticent, and typically self-centered person. Psychology a person predominantly concerned with their own thoughts and feelings rather than with external things. Many sites will also tell you that introverts expend so much energy while dealing with the day-to-day life that they need consistent time to recharge - ie "ME Time". The physical act of being around people is utterly exhausting to me. Don't get me wrong I LOVE to have adult time - talking with my daycare provider, visiting friends(or them visiting me), uninterrupted conversation with my husband, a good family/friends gathering, a nice night out.... but I can't do small talk... it just feels.. awkward and wrong, and truth be told I'm terrible about it. Ask me about the weather a...

This saying comes out of the 4 year old's mouth almost constantly.  Most of the time it's in response to me apologizing for not doing something with her or not being able to cater to her needs at the current moment "it's ok mommy", or if she's trying to be independent and I step in to 'help'... "it's ok mommy, I can do it", as well as when I try to be a little over controlling and just do things for her to get it done or when I want her to do something and she's not doing it... "it's ok mommy, I'm still playing with it, it's ok".  And you know what - "IT" is OK.  and in my increasing diminishing energy due to my last month of pregnancy and I'm sure the long recovery and energy usage of having 3 children.... I'm learning that it truly is ok and to simply let go of somethings....and really trying to let go of the 'end of the world', out of control, chaos will ensue feeling that happens ...

It's was misty/foggy/dreary day yesterday..... there's something about fog and mist that allows one to become more aware and to see things almost for the first time. Cars, buildings, lights, and people slowly come in to focus - appearing out of nowhere - much like they didn't exist until the fog parts and headlights shine, letting you know that they are there and to pay attention. The fog tends to blind us, yet it reminds us to keep our eyes open and to watch for important information - such as a car stopping, a person walking, stop lights changing - but it really reminds us to shake our own head to clear the fog and mist and truly see where our life is going. Are you happy? Are you doing something every day to achieve your goals or dreams? Are you spending every moment doing something that you love? and if not....why? What do you need to change to overcome the obstacle preventing you from being happy or achieving your dreams.....or better yet what is stopping you from ...

The thing about life changes is that you tend to forget about other things that matter too.... I'm having a hard time getting back in to this blogging thing. Mainly the lack of the ability to form complete thoughts...things start - I think about a lot of things, then they flutter away like the leave outside my window on a cold, windy night. Quotes run through my head - no, not famous ones....ones I make up as retorts to people around me. Comebacks for the idiot majority that has no idea that their life has or will have any meaning. Tongue lashings that will never be voiced because of who the world has conditioned me to be.  I never used to be that way - I used to really tell who ever, what ever I wanted and be able to walk away without any guilt or distaste.  Does this mean I grew up - not so sure....part of me screams that I lost myself and it's clawing it's way back tooth and nail to the surface. Oh sure I can put on a 'face' to the general public...then com...

So no one tells you when you have kids or more than one kid or when you decide to have another kid when you are finally old enough and responsible enough....how isolating it can be. No one ever tells you how much you will crave another human in adult form. No one ever prepares you for the word vomit any time someone over the age of 20 talks to you about anything remotely significant, such as "Hi, how are you today" at the grocery check out line and then you explaining why you are buying milk(because your 3 year old wanted cereal and you ran out of milk at bedtime the night before). No one prepares you for the absolute need for a connection to someone else in your shoes, such as your massage therapist rubbing your sore muscles while swapping horror stories on your 3 & 4 year-old attitudes that morning. Even spending an extra 1/2 hour with you daycare provider when you pick up your child, talking about things that have absolutely no relation to how your child's day was....